seekingmygreaterperhaps

Once upon a time, a young 20 something went to graduate school to become a counselor. She foolishly thought she would have time to write… 2 years later, that girl graduated.

Moving on from speaking in 3rd person, that girl is obviously me. Now that my program is done, I can breathe a sigh of relief and say that I am SO glad to be done. I learned a lot, it was more work than I thought possible to do, but I did it. Somehow along the line, I caught the eye of a professor, who is my mentor, role-model, and secret girl-crush. She is amazingly inspiring, and she let me do research with her, come to her with all sorts of questions, and email her a ridiculous amount. That professor nominated me to be the commencement speaker for UNCG’s School of Education commencement. I wrote a speech (on my flight back from Hungary- I cried the whole time and I was praying the woman next to me wouldn’t take off her eyemask), I auditioned, and by a miracle I was chosen!

This was an extreme honor, and I practiced… a lot. My hands still shook the entire time because I had never spoken in front of that many people before. I tried to zone in on my best friends and cohort mates (and avoid my family because I didn’t want to cry).  I got to sit next to the Dean, and he was super nice, even when I accidentally sat on his robe. This was a really cool way to end my graduate school experience. With all that being said, I wanted to share the text of my speech. Keep in mind I had really great hand gestures and my jokes were funny. My sister has the video on her facebook, and my Dad has a copy that he hasn’t uploaded yet, so I will update if I can figure out how to attach those here.

Without further ado- here’s how I went out with a bang:

“I cannot be more honored to be a part of the graduating class of 2017. To my fellow graduates- we can finally exhale! The countdown is over and we made it. I distinctly remember on our first day together in a Counseling and Educational Development class one of our professors equivocated this program with trying to drink from a fire hose. I laughed at the time, but looking back, it’s an accurate analogy. Sometimes it felt like I was drowning and losing my grip, other times I was trudging towards the hydrant more determined than ever.

How appropriate that the key here was water. Like water, counseling can be soothing like a warm bubble bath. However, jumping into an icy pool ready to swim laps is similar to getting down into the hard, sometimes shocking emotional truths that we hope to uncover. Counseling can cleanse the soul like a shower on a hot day, or it can leave you feeling naked and exposed. What excites me is how well UNCG has prepared me to tackle those challenges as my own counselor, and you as yours. The faculty held our hands as we waded through a sea of “it depends” They’ve given us tools and taught us how to help our clients swim. Our faculty practice what they preach and give us examples of what it looks like to be not only a counselor, but an advocate too. That is only going to get more important as we enter into our careers.

Before looking forward, I wanted to take the time to look back. I invite you to take a brief stroll down grad school memory lane. Let’s start with the first helping relationships class. My cohort and I are still getting to know each other and we haven’t quite grasped what this grad school thing is yet. In walks our professor and our first task is to sit facing someone we don’t know and make eye contact- in silence- for 5 minutes. *pause* I made it about 30 seconds before I couldn’t stop giggling. It was about then that I realized this program would make me uncomfortable, but that is how I would grow.

Fast forward to our advanced practicum in the spring of our second semester. The thought of sitting in front of a real person scared me- to put it lightly. We had learned so much and were now asked to put in practice. Oh no- Am I sitting too close? Am I blinking too much? Is it hot in here? What emotion do I reflect? Am I not blinking enough? What do I do with my hands? Oh my goodness, I wasn’t listening and they now they expect me to answer them. “Hmm that sounds hard.” Am I allowed to move? My legs are falling asleep? … Needless to say, counseling was a lot harder than I thought. It took a while to quiet the inner chatter and actually be able to listen.

But slowly, as a baby counselor I began to crawl. Something clicked and then it was flowing. This year during internship I have navigated the choppy waters of school counseling. Boy drama, parental divorce, college choices, suicidal ideation, and social skills training…. All before 3rd period. It’s a lot to balance, but as I began to walk into the field of school counseling, I have had tremendous support from the faculty, my family and friends, and sometimes more importantly- my cohort.

As we graduate today, we’re past the walking stage. I might even compare it to surfing. There is a lot to balance, and sometimes the waters engulf us, but we get back up and make it look purposeful.

As a school counselor I battle on the front lines of emotional distress. It’s funny to think I looked at school counseling only as guidance. I liked planning and thought I was organized. For my classmates- it might shock you that I wanted the scheduling piece of the job. 2 years and a lot of work later, I crave getting to the emotional bits that students give me. It’s a challenge- how quickly can we move to what the actual problem is, shed some insight, and bring them back to a level where they can function in class. 30 minutes? Make it 15. I think counseling is the only field where it’s a personal and professional victory to have a client cry. There is such a curative power in a nice cry. This program taught me that there is strength in tears and vulnerability- and that is why having capable and amazing counselors is so important.

How cool is the field we are going into, as well as the fields of our fellow graduates? I’m looking at a room full of people who are going to shape the world. You hold client’s stories in the palms of your hands and give space for the client or student to heal. There is power in our work. In the two years of knowing you, we have open up our hearts and yanked off the locks on our emotional baggage in order to get to this place. We put in the emotional work that we ask of our students and clients daily. Somehow, kicking and screaming, we have made it. I look around and can envision the impact each of you is going to have on your schools, your agencies, and your communities. Today, we finally get to turn off the fire hose. We are fully hydrated and ready to go. Class of 2017, let’s go pour into others, as we have had our fill here at UNCG.

Thank you.”